


TheOpinionatedKnitter.com

by Joylee



Category: Knitter's Almanac
Genre: Big Name Knitter, Gen, Kntting, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21839782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joylee/pseuds/Joylee
Summary: A contemporary Elizabeth Zimmerman publishes herThe Knitter’s Almanacin 2019.  Through her YouTube Channel.  With a little help from The Old Man.  Here are some excerpts.
Relationships: Elizabeth Zimmerman/The Old Man|Arnold Zimmerman
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	TheOpinionatedKnitter.com

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lirin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lirin/gifts).



> Author's Note: Please refer to The Knitter’s Almanac for the actual patterns discussed. Despite their age, they still contain some of the best methods around for customizing and even designing your own garments. The knitting tips I’ve put into EZ’s mouth that are not from her book are probably not original to me. But as I’ve no idea where I picked them up or if I unvented them myself, I can’t give credit where it’s due.

As the video begins a pleasant, slightly folky tune plays over a winter scene of a frozen lake. The camera rotates taking in a picturesque older building, a former school? A title, **The Knitter’s Almanac** fills the screen.

The scene shifts inside, where a grey haired woman is seated with a basket of unbleached yarn at her side. “Good day.” 

A second title appears over her head **January -- An Aran Sweater**..

The camera moves in to a head and shoulders shot of the woman. “My name is Elizabeth Zimmerman and I am The Opinionated Knitter. Welcome to my YouTube channel. 

“I come to these videos through an odd path.” Her accent is British. “Once upon a time there was an old woman who liked to knit, who lived with her Old Man in a former one room schoolhouse out in the country.

“Every so often as she sat knitting next to her warm pellet stove,” the camera pans to the right showing a free standing enclosed fireplace with a tea kettle sitting on top, then toward the window where a bare limbed tree can be seen covered in snow, “Or under the dappled shade of the black birch depending on the season, she would call out to her husband, ‘Darling, I have unvented something.’

“And he would listen patiently to her gabble on about some knitting idea or another.” She smiles lovingly here, clearly directed beyond the camera. 

“At last one day he said, ‘Darling, other knitters would gain much from hearing about your ideas. You should share them.’

“So I did.”

A screenshot of the homepage of a website with a banner reading ‘The Opinionated Knitter’ takes the screen. “And thus was born TheOpinionatedKnitter.com.”

“My blog is filled with long discussions of knitting, the odd comments on my adventures with The Old Man and an occasional brag about my clever and precocious grandchildren.” The shot cuts back to Elizabeth smiling broadly. “Brags are obligatory once one obtains the status of Nana. 

“The Blog proved surprisingly popular. I had always taught at local shops and workshops. But with the Blog I came into greater demand and have been invited to teach at various knitting retreats around the country. You may also have seen a number of my patterns in Vogue Knitting over the years.” An insert appears of a magazine cover showing an Aran Sweater.

Elizabeth continues. “This year at Christmas the children gave The Old Man a new camera to replace the one he has used to document our outdoor adventures these last fifteen years. As with all electronic equipment, the new camera is vastly superior to the one it is replacing. Playing with it on Christmas day he took some videos which came out so well he suggested that we could film some demonstration videos to post on the Blog. ‘It would be just like when you teach classes at retreats. Only available to everyone.’ 

“At which point the oldest grandchild pronounced, ‘You don’t want to just post them on the blog, Opa. Nana should have her own YouTube Channel!’

“And suddenly the knitalong that I had planned for the Blog for 2019 morphed into a video series, with Arnold as cameraman.” A man’s hand comes into view and waves to the camera. “And video editing advice provided by Number One Grandchild.

“My plan is to explore a different project each month, with an eye toward showing you how you can take these basic projects and create your own original designs. For those of you who want an actual pattern to follow as we knit these projects, you can purchase a copy of my Pithy Directions from the Website or Ravelry.” The shot cuts to a Revelry page showing twelve pictures. “Or you can purchase all of the Pithy Patterns together with an appendix of terms and techniques as an Ebook available on my website, Ralvery page, and Amazon.”

The picture returns to Elizabeth. “Now the most important thing in starting a sweater, or any garment, is to first determine your Gauge. Gauge determines everything else. Take the yarn you have chosen and a set of needles. I recommend using circulars even when knitting flat. So much easier to keep track of. You won’t end up scrambling under the seat of the car when you drop one. Or, horrors of horrors, lose your needle half way through a long drive. Pick a size needle which your experience and intelligence suggest will give you the drape of fabric you desire.”

The camera angle switches to showing her hands as though you are looking down at them, busily casting on stitches. “Rather than just knitting a square to find your gauge, why not make a hat? You can determine your gauge for the sweater and try out your pattern, go wild and experiment a little! And in the end you have a warm hat.

“Start by casting on half of the number of stitches you will need for your sweater….” 

**February -- Some Baby Things**

Elizabeth is again seated in her chair. This time the baskets contain small colorful balls of yarn. “Good day. I’m Elizabeth Zimmerman and this it my Knitter’s Almanac for February 2019. 

“There is nothing more adorable than seeing a wee babe swaddled in knitwear. Or a more practical way to keep a child warm and snug. However, it is a known fact that no spouse or significant other your child brings home has the knowledge -- unless they come from a knitting family themselves, in which case you are doubly blessed -- or the time, to properly care for baby’s woolens. So, despite my own decided preference for wool, when knitting for tiny ones it is best to take ease of care into account when choosing one's materials. Fortunately today’s manmade yarn is not the acrylic of my girlhood. Which I am firmly convinced could have withstood a nuclear blast and was almost as uncomfortable. Now we have some wonderful blends and acrylics which are lovely to work with. I will be using this lovely bamboo cotton blend for our first project a Square Shawl…” 

**March -- Difficult Sweater (Not Really)**

This opening changes from icicles viewed through the window to Elizabeth’s knitting needles. Someone is experimenting with dissolves.

“Good day, fellow knitters.” Elizabeth is wearing the Aran sweater from January.

“Running out of yarn is a problem that can reduce even the most hardened and experienced knitter to tears. Of course you can most easily avoid the problem by initially buying an extra skein at the inception of the project. This of course presumes that you purchase your yarn with a project in mind and then do not change your mind and repurpose the yarn. 

“Nearly all yarn shops will accept a return if you have the receipt and the yarn is in good condition. Although I confess I have never actually met any knitters who routinely returned their leftover yarn. Besides if you lose the receipt or you purchased the yarn on holiday in another country, an extra skein is hardly a catastrophe. Make a hat. Or mittens. The Old Man has several pairs of striped socks that have resulted from combining leftovers. As you can see from the photo the effect can be rather charming when stretched out in front of the fire on a cold winter night. In fact, I am firmly convinced that this is precisely why stripes were invented. 

“Let us discuss how to best calculate the amount of yarn to purchase for our projects. Obviously this depends not only on what type of project you have in mind, but the size, how you knit and what you are knitting with. 

“In the olden times of my youth we had to base our yarn purchases on prior experience, rule of thumb and the expertise of your kindly sales clerk. Today you have the wonder of the internet at your fingertips. Search out a similar pattern with similar yarn. Search out several. Then compare the recommended amounts of yarn. You will soon develop your own expertise and judgement in determining how much to buy.”

A screenshot of a project page from Ravelry comes up. The voiceover says, “Keep track of your yarn usage on each project. If you also track the Gauge and size of the project you can use those numbers to calculate amounts for other types of projects…” 

**May-- Mittens for Next Winter**

A small table is set up in front of Elizabeth holding graph paper and a variety of small balls of yarn clearly left over from other projects.

“May is an excellent time of year to make mittens.” Elizabeth declares. “We are not under any time deadlines to churn them out to keep small and not so small fingers from freezing. We can take our time, venture into new designs and enjoy ourselves. Not to mention a small project like mittens is perfect as the weather warms and highly portable for your summer activities.

“Before we start though, I wanted to address the many, many comments last month from you filled with horror over my blithely ripping out the border of the blanket because it was too loose. Now I’m a great believer in not wasting knitting, as can be seen from my technique of making hats to test Gauge rather than merely a useless square. And who dictates that a Gauge swatch must be useless? With a little creative thought it can become a potholder, a hot pad or a dolly blanket. But sometimes, as with the border, knitting must be sacrificed for the greater good. And you have the delight of yet more knitting.” Her grin at this can only be described as cheeky.

“Now mittens tend to go astray more quickly than any other knitwear. Even socks! I have a special trick that allow you to make mittens interchangeable between the right and left hands. If you have the foresight and kindness to present them in sets to three the loss of the first will not be irremediable...”

**August -- Christmas Fiddle-Faddle in the Wilds**

The opening titles are over a scene of a river. The bank flows by at a brisk pace and a canoe paddle strikes the surface of the water in a steady rhythm.

The scene cuts to Elizabeth sitting on a log at the side of the river. “This month’s videos will be a little different as we are water-camping in the Canadian northern woods. Number One Grandchild will be editing and uploading them as we send them, but since internet access is rather spotty out here I make no guarntees how often that will be.

“The Old Man is in his element. Braving the wild, fishing for our meals and generally behaving like the Outdoorsmen of the literature of his youth.” The camera cuts to a couple of trout in a frying pan over an open fire.

“While he fishes, I sit and knit. The back of a canoe is not ideal for large projects, so I am working on designing the odd, and some of them have been decidedly odd, Christmas ornament; my snowman appears to be melting and the less said about my attempt at a candy cane the better. But I have turned out a quite nice star and tree on two needles.

“Before we jump into our project though, I was terribly gratified by the intense interest expressed for an adult version of the February Baby Sweater. So I have designed one. My test knitter emailed her approval just before I left and the pattern will go up once we are home again. It will be added as an appendix of the ebook and if you are a subscriber to this channel, you can download it free of charge from the website…” . 

**December -- Hurry Up Last Minute Sweater**

“We are snowed in!” Elizabeth announces gleeful to the camera. “I love being snowed in. So cosy. So quiet. And so much time to knit! 

“We are coming to the end of our Almanac for 2019, dear knitters. The Last Minute Sweater we created for December is finished and, presumably, adorning some lucky giftee. This period between Christmas and New Year is a good time for quiet reflection. Take stock of your yarn stash. Consider what projects beckon for the coming year.”

The camera pans across several plastic bins all containing skeins of yarn grouped by color and weight. The view moves to a pad of graph paper with a phone, three mechanical pencils and some colored markers arranged next to it. 

“It has been a true joy to read your comments about my simple designs. I hope my musings have inspired you to try your hand at your own. For now I have a wonderful idea for a lace shawl that has my brain spinning like a Catherine-wheel. Such good fortune! I can only hope the same for you.”


End file.
